Just the other day I was going through my old agile notes to revive any dormant concepts I'd forgotten. One of those gems was Alistair's platinum or Adamantine Rule:
The Golden Rule is self-centric – it instructs us to impose our value system on other people and expect them to be happy that we are treating them well in our value system!
Instead, using ... the Adamantine Rule, the subtext instructs us to
learn the other person’s value system, and treat them well in their value system!
He expands on this slightly on his bliki.